Boy or Girl?

The number one question I get, from strangers and acquaintances alike, is whether the baby is a boy or a girl. It's strange how much this one simple trait seems to define so much. Thank God we're no longer living in a society that gives books to our children titled "Men are Doctors; Women are Nurses." But that's not to say we've overcome all notions of 1950s gender roles. I recently attended a panel discussion on campus titled "Raising a feminist child in a conservative state." It got me thinking about my own perceptions and how they will reflect in my new role as a mother. To be honest, I'm not sure how I'm going to respond if my daughter comes to me and says she's going to play football for Auburn one day or if my son announces his intentions to join the flag corps. I'd like to think I'll be 100% supportive of any and all goals my children set for themselves, as long as they are not harmful to anyone. But in reality, I have my own brand of sexism that is apparent when I consider my reasons for wanting a boy or a girl.

Why I want a boy:

1. Andy's side of the family only has a granddaughter.

2. Boys seem easier to raise than girls.

3. During my short stint as a day care teacher, I liked the boys as a group better.

4. Because of his back and neck problems, Andy was not allowed to play contact sports (ie: football). Having a boy would allow him to live vicariously through the athletic pursuits of our sure-to-be child prodigy.

5. Boys don't squeal, scream, or shriek at the same brain-piercing level that girls do.

6. There aren't enough sweet, respectful, caring yet still very guyish boys out there. I was lucky enough to marry one. It would be nice to raise one, too.

7. Boys can't get pregnant.

Why I want a girl:

1. My side of the family only has grandsons.

2. Girls are less rowdy than boys.

3. Girl clothes are WAY cuter than boy clothes.

4. I know how tough it is to be a 13-year-old girl and I like to think that my experiences can help be be more empathetic and forge a stronger bond with our daughter. If she's talking to me, that is.

5. I'm not sure why, but I think I can mold a girl intellectually more easily than I can a boy.

6. Though I'm not into designer clothes and makeup, I do love to shop. It would be nice to have someone to go shopping with that I don't have to liquor up beforehand.

7. If we have a girl, she will be a Daddy's girl. I know it and I would love to watch as that bond forms and grows. Plus, there's just something sexy about a cute guy with his little girl.

Now before anyone goes and posts a comment saying that boys can be just as difficult to raise as girls or that girls can play sports too, please note that I have already admitted that these lists are woefully sexist and based entirely on presumptions. I'm sure this won't be the last time I'm completely wrong about something. The truth is, I don't know what I'm having, but I'm sure I'll love it to bits and pieces no matter what. Early in my pregnancy I was so sure it was a girl. Now, most days, I think it is a boy. In my dreams it is usually a girl. Of course, the other night I had a dream in which I had two kids, the youngest was a boy, dressed in an Auburn cheerleading outfit (skirt and all), with three eyes. As long as we don't have a three-eyed baby, I think I'll be alright.

Fodderless

My sad lack of posting lately has not been due to a busy schedule. I've just been struggling for blog fodder (blodder?). I guess we've settled into a routine and things are going well for us (AU football notwithstanding). We've got the registry taken care of, the day care lined up, the nursery painted, and the crib assembled. Now what? I guess I need to get life insurance and we need to write a will, but that's boring stuff. My days largely consist of going to work and waiting to have a baby - isn't it a little early in the pregnancy to be thinking "ok, I've had enough, come on out already"? Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying pregnancy and the excitement of what lies ahead. But it seems like as it drags out, I start thinking less about cute outfits and belly rasberries and more about spit up and sleepless nights (though, thanks to my back, those have already begun). It also amazes me how much I worry already about my kid - the dangerous intersection of University we'll traverse every morning on the way to day care, the black and brown (yes, brown) widows that have made our siding their home, and the scary, scary world we're bringing him/her into (this includes everything from Osama bin Laden to Britney Spears). I guess I need to find a coping mechanism or a hobby. I tried knitting, but even the most simple stitch patterns eluded me (I guess I didn't inherit my mom's amazing ability for crafts). I would love to do photography, but I'm too cheap to keep buying batteries for the camera that sucks the life out of them like it's a digital vampire; and I never actually print out any photos. Maybe I can fill my days by searching for "blodder." Then you wouldn't have to sit through more rambling nonsense like this.

Signs of Progress, Part 2

Things are definitely taking shape now. My belly is getting more and more swollen and the baby's room no longer resembles an oversized closet (at least not a boring adult closet). As you can see from the picture, we painted the baby's room blue - to hell with gender stereotypes. We also put up a border of safari animals driving jeeps (again, to hell ...). Kudos go out to our friend Patrick for installing the fan - don't worry, he had prior experience (like I was going to risk life and limb for a little air circulation). I know the room is a little on the boyish side right now, but I have ordered yellow gingham curtains with a matching crib skirt and bumper pad. Originally I had registered for these items, but then got impatient and convinced myself that I needed them ASAP, just in case they didn't match the room and needed to be returned. Actually, I think it's because I ordered the crib last week and I really want to see what the whole ensemble will look like. And my belly button is not even popping out yet.

I thought I would share a few things I have learned since my first "Signs of Progress" posting exactly two months ago:

1. Time flies when your having, um, a baby.

2. Though I'm a fan of both, painters' tape and latex paint don't have a good working relationship.

3. Friends and family hate not knowing the sex of your baby, but strangers think it's great that you don't want to know.

4. Some strangers have serious guts - I would never ask someone I didn't know when they were due, if it's their first, or the sex of their unborn child. They could just have a serious bloating problem for all I know.

5. Working on the third floor of a building with 15-foot ceilings and no elevator is really going to suck in a couple months.

6. Wearing form-fitting shirts that show off your belly makes coworkers (especially middle-aged women) smile. Sorry, guys, this only applies to pregnant ladies. That spare you've been toting around since your college days doesn't count.

7. Grandparents pick out the cutest gifts - and have every right to!

8. A fetus weighing less than a pound can still pack a mean punch.

9. My little fantasy about being a tough-love parent that doesn't spoil her child is going right down the drain. Along with all my notions about our family members exercising restraint and not showering our child with gifts. Maybe that will be more of a long-term goal. Say, by age 13?