Fodderless

My sad lack of posting lately has not been due to a busy schedule. I've just been struggling for blog fodder (blodder?). I guess we've settled into a routine and things are going well for us (AU football notwithstanding). We've got the registry taken care of, the day care lined up, the nursery painted, and the crib assembled. Now what? I guess I need to get life insurance and we need to write a will, but that's boring stuff. My days largely consist of going to work and waiting to have a baby - isn't it a little early in the pregnancy to be thinking "ok, I've had enough, come on out already"? Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying pregnancy and the excitement of what lies ahead. But it seems like as it drags out, I start thinking less about cute outfits and belly rasberries and more about spit up and sleepless nights (though, thanks to my back, those have already begun). It also amazes me how much I worry already about my kid - the dangerous intersection of University we'll traverse every morning on the way to day care, the black and brown (yes, brown) widows that have made our siding their home, and the scary, scary world we're bringing him/her into (this includes everything from Osama bin Laden to Britney Spears). I guess I need to find a coping mechanism or a hobby. I tried knitting, but even the most simple stitch patterns eluded me (I guess I didn't inherit my mom's amazing ability for crafts). I would love to do photography, but I'm too cheap to keep buying batteries for the camera that sucks the life out of them like it's a digital vampire; and I never actually print out any photos. Maybe I can fill my days by searching for "blodder." Then you wouldn't have to sit through more rambling nonsense like this.

Signs of Progress, Part 2

Things are definitely taking shape now. My belly is getting more and more swollen and the baby's room no longer resembles an oversized closet (at least not a boring adult closet). As you can see from the picture, we painted the baby's room blue - to hell with gender stereotypes. We also put up a border of safari animals driving jeeps (again, to hell ...). Kudos go out to our friend Patrick for installing the fan - don't worry, he had prior experience (like I was going to risk life and limb for a little air circulation). I know the room is a little on the boyish side right now, but I have ordered yellow gingham curtains with a matching crib skirt and bumper pad. Originally I had registered for these items, but then got impatient and convinced myself that I needed them ASAP, just in case they didn't match the room and needed to be returned. Actually, I think it's because I ordered the crib last week and I really want to see what the whole ensemble will look like. And my belly button is not even popping out yet.

I thought I would share a few things I have learned since my first "Signs of Progress" posting exactly two months ago:

1. Time flies when your having, um, a baby.

2. Though I'm a fan of both, painters' tape and latex paint don't have a good working relationship.

3. Friends and family hate not knowing the sex of your baby, but strangers think it's great that you don't want to know.

4. Some strangers have serious guts - I would never ask someone I didn't know when they were due, if it's their first, or the sex of their unborn child. They could just have a serious bloating problem for all I know.

5. Working on the third floor of a building with 15-foot ceilings and no elevator is really going to suck in a couple months.

6. Wearing form-fitting shirts that show off your belly makes coworkers (especially middle-aged women) smile. Sorry, guys, this only applies to pregnant ladies. That spare you've been toting around since your college days doesn't count.

7. Grandparents pick out the cutest gifts - and have every right to!

8. A fetus weighing less than a pound can still pack a mean punch.

9. My little fantasy about being a tough-love parent that doesn't spoil her child is going right down the drain. Along with all my notions about our family members exercising restraint and not showering our child with gifts. Maybe that will be more of a long-term goal. Say, by age 13?

Quick Thanks

A follow up to my previous post: I want to thank my step-sister for her diligent list-making skills. If she ever decides to give up being a full-time mom, I'm sure she can make a career as a baby registry consultant. I also want to thank my step-mother for offering her words of wisdom and making sure I didn't suffer a panic attack at a certain baby store in Huntsville. I was on the verge, believe me.

Am I Registering ... Or Going Crazy?

Registering for a new baby is overwhelming. It is not a fun process full of ooohs and aaahs and doting salespeople. It is a science; it is a blood sport. I finally finished registering today and realized that I am not the same person I was five months ago. I swore that I would not be one of those parents who think every little thing is a necessity ("What do you mean a baby wipe warmer is not of the utmost importance?!?"), nor would I get a bunch of useless crap (I mean, really, a rubber bib that catches crumbs?). But it's funny how through the registering process, you find yourself justifying even the silliest of purchases (yes, even the crumb catching bib). I guess every parent wants only the best for his or her child and, of course, doesn't want to be judged by others for failing to meet their standards.

I always thought that registering was a weird process. I mean, it makes sense in a lot of ways; you know people want to help you out and buy stuff, so it might as well be stuff you'll use. But imagine if you just went around and asked for cash to buy that same stuff. People would be appalled at the inappropriateness of it. Though I have heard of folks asking for money in lieu of wedding gifts. Now that's just tacky.

Just out of curiosity, I thought I would total up the dollar amount of all the stuff we registered for. Apparently we found around $1800 worth of stuff our baby absolutely, positively must have. And that figure does not include a crib. Or a breast pump. Or college tuition. So when we come knocking on your door, asking for $1800, please know that it will go toward only the most basic of necessities. Like rubber bibs that catch crumbs.

Things I Love, Things I Hate

I am more than halfway through my pregnancy and thought even though I've got a ways to go, I would list the things I love - and hate - about being pregnant. I have a feeling the "things I hate" list will grow as my pregnancy progresses, so I thought I would make the list before I became too jaded. So here goes ...

Things I Love

Maternity clothes. They don't make you look fat. They're comfy and the tops are cut in such a way that they make you look like you're just carrying around a popcorn bowl beneath your clothes.

Companionship. Call me crazy, but I feel like I've got someone to talk to. Though he/she is not a great coversationalist at this point, he/she is a great listener. Mostly we talk about the weather (it's too darn hot!) or food (do you like crinkle-cut fries and soft-serve ice cream as much as I do?) or daddy (when's daddy going to get home from work, huh?).

Smiles from strangers. It's funny how people smile when they see pregnant ladies. I guess the distinctive belly bump is a sign that there's still hope and innocence in this world. Either that or people are just thinking, "Boy am I glad I'm not carrying around extra weight in this heat. Good for her."

Things I Hate

Superhuman sense of smell. Of all the senses, why is smell the one that becomes ultra sensitive during pregnancy? This is the one symptom that I have experienced consistently since day one. It's terrible. My nose is assaulted on a daily basis. I work in a building with poor air circulation and, for reasons unknown to me, full of people who do not bath regularly. The 103 degree daily temps have not helped either. I am forced to eat my lunch outside in the heat in order not to hurl.

Health scares. Things that wouldn't have concerned me before suddenly seem hugely significant. For instance, the invasion of black widows at our home (ok, so that would have scared me a bit regardless). Or a few days ago when I learned that most artificial sweeteners are considered unsafe. Why did my pregnancy book fail to inform me of that until my twentieth week, after consuming diet soda on a regular basis during the previous 20 weeks? Oh, and on Tuesday I ate half a cup of pudding before realizing it expired four months ago. Anyone know the long-term effects of bad pudding on a fetus? Maybe I'll give Bill Cosby a call. It was Jell-O brand.

Disapproving stares from strangers. I don't know if it's because I work on a college campus and carry around a backpack, but I get looks regularly from girls that say to me "Ugh, look at that pregnant girl. Couldn't even wait until she was done with school." Maybe I'm just paranoid and they're really fretting over the latest gossip their sorority sisters are spreading about their recent indiscretions. Or maybe they're worried that they're knocked up too. Ah, cynicism - don't you love it?

Baby's First Pics

Ok, folks. I know it's been a while since my last posting, but I'll make it worth your while. Today we went for our first ultrasound. And we thought hearing the heartbeat was amazing! I had no idea how detailed an ultrasound could get this early on. We didn't even need for the lady to point out a lot of the body parts. Baby was a bit camera shy at times and kept trying to wiggle away. In fact, it looked like it kept trying to wiggle clear out of the uterus all together, stretching its long legs and squirming around. I haven't felt the baby move yet, but the lady said that's probably because its in the breech position and the placenta is on top, providing a cushion between me and the baby. She said to give it a week.

The heartbeat is at 150 and the baby weighs 10 ounces. It's crazy to me to think that some fetuses can survive birth at 25 weeks and just under a pound. My weight is at 154 lbs. Though it looks like I've gained much more, I've only put on about 10 lbs so far. I'm sure I'll be looking hot in my bathing suit when I head to the beach next month with my family.

And, no, we didn't change our minds at the last minute about finding out the sex of the baby. The woman doing the ultrasound assured us, however, that it is definitely a boy or a girl. Don't laugh, having a transgender baby has always been a very real concern of mine (stems from doing a very strange report in a religion class). And the lady said in her 22 years of doing ultrasounds, she's has had one baby with questionable features. So it does happen. Just not to us, thank goodness. Though I'm still considering several unisex names ...

Just in case you can't figure out the pictures above, the top one is of the baby face-down. It looks like it's somersaulting through my womb. Look at the cute bubble butt and those long dancers' legs! I hope it keeps the bubble butt - more fun to powder, I'm sure. The second picture is a more clear shot of the spine and rib cage. For those of you familiar with both mine and Andy's back problems, it's a miracle the spine isn't twisted like a pretzel. The third picture is of the arm. I think the baby thought we were the paparazzi coming after it - it looks like it's in a fighting stance with one fist up in front of its face and the other down by its side. The fourth picture is a profile shot with the face looking upward. The last picture is of the baby's face. Cute, I'm sure, but at this point it's hard to tell just how cute.

Anyway, we got more pictures, but we thought these were some of the best. There are ten fingers and, as far as the lady could tell, ten toes. Even if there's nine (or eleven) toes, it doesn't matter. It's a healthy, normal baby at this point. We'll have plenty of time in the future to be goofy, paranoid parents and turn it into a crazy person.

Baby's second plane ride (or third, technically)

I'm off to California bright and early in the a.m. I'll be traveling to Santa Clara for the annual Rural Sociological Society meetings. Baby better not get used to flying - mommy and daddy won't be able to afford long-distance travel after she/he shows up. Anyway, I'll be returning late Monday evening.

In other news, I got us onto a waiting list for one day care. It is slightly more expensive than the others Susan and I checked out, but it's convenient for both mommy's and daddy's commutes to work and I just liked it the most. I may get on a waiting list at another place just in case (I'm not sure how it works when you're trying to get a kid in day care halfway through the school year).

I called about a birthing class and the lady said, "Wow, somebody who's actually calling early!" I took it as a compliment; I've been feeling like such a slacker lately (the nursery is still an oversized storage closet). The classes haven't even been scheduled yet for November. I chose the three-week class over the six-week class. I mean seriously, how many different ways to breath are there during labor? Besides, I would be really mad if I missed six episodes of "The Office" in a row and ended up getting a Cesearean anyway.