Yay!

He figured it out. The trick is to keep ALL your fingers sticking out.

Mother's Day and More

Mother's Day

I had a pretty wonderful Mother's Day. I didn't think I would get all excited about it, but I did. We went to the traditional Mother's Day gorgefest at the Emondson's. We ate way too many deep-fried appetizers, too much casserole, and too much pound cake. I guess that's what holidays are for, though. Alex (daddy) bought me a beautiful necklace with a mother and child pendant. It looks like those statues I like so much where the mother and child are one:

I had asked Alex for only one thing for Mother's Day: that he sleep through the night. And he did - five nights in a row!! Woo-hoo!

Garden

A little bit off topic; our garden is starting to shape up:

We have been doing it totally organic, using only compost and "tea" made from worm castings to fertilize it. We were so proud of it until we compared it to my mother-in-law's garden. Let's just say her garden put ours to shame. Those Miracle-Grow folks really know what they're doing. Anyway, last weekend we broke down and bought some fertilizer. But we're still sticking with organic-only. Someone asked us why recently and we didn't really have an answer. I guess we're just trying to see if we can do it. Not to mention that whatever chemicals you put on the ground will eventually end up in the local watershed. Plus, organic veggies are yummy!

Alex's progress

Unlike my squash, Alex just keeps getting bigger and bigger. His physical development is pretty remarkable. Just in the last week or two, he has really started to figure out how to use his hands. He will sit there and stare at his right hand, twisting it back and forth before his eyes. He is just fascinated with it. He still hasn't quite got the hang of thumb-sucking (he keeps tucking it beneath his other fingers instead of holding it out), but he's getting much better at putting his pacifier back in his mouth after pulling it out. He's also starting to use both hands to pull on the edge of his blanket and put his teething ring in his mouth. Here is Alex trying to sit up:

I made the mistake the other day of visiting babycenter.com. It's a website that tracks babies' development week-by-week. Or at least how babies are supposed to develop week-by-week. I should have known better, but I looked at it anyway to see if Alex is supposed to be sitting up (not really) or rolling over both ways (maybe so). He seems to be on-par with his physical development, but not so much with his mental or "emotional" development. What does this mean? Am I going to have a mindless athlete for a son? Or an overgrown oaf? Am I going to be Lennie's mother? I guess the more important question is: Why am I freaking out about this? I'm sure Alex is progressing at a perfectly normal rate. And even if he ends up a Lennie, I'll love him just the same. I just won't buy him a puppy.

Signs of progress ... maybe

For a while there, Alex was doing great sleeping at night, going 10 hours on a regular basis and giving Mommy sweet, uninterrupted sleep. But then, about two weeks ago, the progress stopped and he began to regress, waking at about 3 a.m. to feed and then making noises and waking off and on from about 5 a.m. on. I've been told that regression can be indicative of a growth spurt or the onset of a major milestone. I really hope this is the case. Losing sleep would be made more bearable if he started flipping both ways or sitting up or prepping for his SATs.

In all honesty, though, Alex really is making progress day by day. It's amazing how much babies change in such a short amount of time. It is so much fun to watch as he discovers new and exciting abilities and things in his environment. It's a little sad, too, to think about how quickly it's going and that each "first" is, in a way, a "last" as well. But I keep telling myself we'll have another kid, so wait and get really sad when he or she has his or her "lasts."

Just in case you needed another reason to think that babies are God's greatest gift: Yesterday after I balanced the checkbook, I looked down at Alex, sighed, and said "oh, baby, we're running out of money." (Don't worry, we aren't really; I was being dramatic.) As I said this, he looked up at me with those beautiful baby blues and gave me the biggest grin. As if to say "I love you mommy! At least you have me!"

Here are some of Alex's newest favorite things to do:

1. Scream (I know I had this on the list last time, but he's taken it to a whole new level)
2. Pull things into his mouth (pacifier, blanket, stuffed lion, Mommy's fingers)
3. Push his bottle nipple out of his mouth (then get frustrated that he's not getting food; does this mean he's ready for solids?)
4. Squat thrusts (you know the dreaded exercise - he loves it)
5. Be Superbaby (It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Superbaby!)
6. Be lifted in the air by his hands (Yes, this makes Granny very nervous, but Daddy is VERY gentle)
7. Blow rasberries
8. Pee in his eyes (Yes, still)
9. Watch sports on TV, especially golf (he was enthralled by the Masters)
10. Sport a mini-mullet (he's rubbed the hair off the back of his head, but left a tuft at the nape of his neck)

I'm glad my son isn't crookneck squash ...

Otherwise he would look like this:

The sad part is that this is the best-looking one. I guess it's good that I'm better at raising a baby than produce. Though, to be fair, the squash was looking a little sad before I even put it in the ground. Andy's peppers, on the other hand, are looking great.

This is our first stab at growing a vegetable garden (we haven't faired well with flowers in the past). Hopefully our friends and family can enjoy the fruits (or veggies) of our labor in a couple months.

On to Alex news ...

We took Alex to his first Auburn football game on Saturday. We promised him the Tigers would win no matter what (it was the A-Day game), but he still didn't enjoy it. I don't know if it was the crowd, the noise, the blazing heat, or the sunlight, but he was not a happy camper (can't you tell by the picture?). It was his first time in Alabama heat and it appears he has his father's distaste for humidity. But he did look awfully cute in all orange.

He had his 4-month checkup today and weighs in at 16 lbs, 7 ounces. He is 26 inches long. He is doing great. He and Andy have formed a bond and, while I am a little jealous, any parent (or anyone who loves their family, for that matter) will tell you that there is something special about seeing those you love the most happiest in one other's company. Here is a list of Alex's favorite things to do:

1. Clench his fists so hard it's impossible to clip his nails

2. Lock his legs

3. Smile in the mornings and tell us what's on his mind

4. Fuss in the evenings and tell us what's on his mind

5. Flirt with strangers by smiling shyly and turning his head away while maintaining eye contact (it works well with the ladies)

6. Suck on everything in sight, from his paci to our shirt collars

7. Listen to Sullivan howl and bark (it's weird, sometimes it's the only way to get him to quit crying)

8. Try to stuff his entire fist in his mouth

9. Poot loudly and frequently in the mornings, especially when he stretches

10. Drool

Another Update

Apologies again for a long delay. Here's a totally self-centered update on my life ...

Body

My body is pretty much back in the same shape as it was before I got pregnant. Except my tummy is a little poochier. And my boobs a little bigger and saggier. And my butt and thighs riddled with cellulite. Oh my gosh, my body is nothing like it was before I got pregnant! Oh, well. It's totally worth it.

Sleep

It seems no matter how Alex sleeps - whether it's 10 hours straight through the night or if he wakes up to feed twice in the night - I never get enough sleep. I don't know what it is, but I'm always tired. Right now is probably the worst because not only is it dark when it's time for me to get up in the mornings (stupid daylight savings time change), but Alex is starting to wake up hungry at 5 a.m. I would rather him either sleep through the night or wake up at 3 a.m. At least then, I would have another three hours of sleep after feeding him instead of 45 minutes.

Anxiety

My emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster lately. I don't know if it is hormones, Andy's employment situation, or just Chuck's blood running through my veins, but I regularly have mini-panic attacks. Or is it just motherhood? I feel like I'm a hamster in a big wheel - I'm just running and running and tumbling all around me are dirty clothes, stinky kitty litter, unwritten Thank You notes, a matted Old English Sheepdog, and a never-ending grocery list. I need a haircut, a teeth cleaning, and (at the moment) a shower. You may be thinking, "Well, why are you taking time to write a blog?" Well, it's because I'm a less-than-ideal employee and I'm doing it at work. Will someone please tell me if what I'm experiencing is normal? And will it go away anytime within the next 18 years?

Momnesia

I forget a lot of things these days. My friend, whose daughter is a month younger than Alex, calls it momnesia. So if I don't call or email you back, it's momnesia. If I forget to take the grocery list to the store, it's momnesia. Or if I leave my debit card in the gas station pump on South College Street, it's momnesia. And I curse the bastard who took the card and used it at a gas station in Hatchechubbee, Alabama (what kind of a redneck name is that anyway?).

Questions, questions, and more questions

When we went to register while I was pregnant, I had a little panic attack in Babies 'R Us. I know part of it was not just the overwhelming amount of crap that's out there, but also that I just didn't know a thing about raising a baby. I now know that after almost four months of child rearin', it ain't gonna get easy anytime soon. As our four-month mark approaches, we're asking ourselves several things: When do we start cereal? Are those big, sticky poops four days apart a sign of constipation? When do we move him into his own room at night (yes, he's still in his Pack 'N Play in our room; at least he's not in our bed)? Are his 5 a.m. wakeups really because he's hungry (he usually only eats for a few minutes) or just having little fussy moments? Should we just let him "cry it out" when he gets fussy? If so, how long? What if Alex has ADD and he forgets or loses his lunch at school? Will the teacher lend him money for lunch? How many times will she/he do so before saying "forget it!"? Aaaggghhh!

Happy Baby

I've joined the ranks of women everywhere (you know who you are) and I'm now officially a total sap. I get all teary-eyed over those emails that talk about how wonderful being a mom is. It takes enormous willpower not to forward them to everyone in my "contacts" list (not so sure the director of the Alabama Soybeans Producers would get as much out of it as I do). But they are so true! I read something about how much joy a simple little smile can bring. It's incredible. Alex has started getting extremely happy in the mornings when he wakes up and Andy and I are both bending over him and saying "Good morning!!!" It makes the whole sleeplessness thing a bit more bearable. Plus he is so gosh darn cute when he stretches and twists his whole body around after being swaddled all night. The point of all my rambling is that no matter how little sleep I get or how far behind in chores I fall, it is important that I remember to take time to savor each sweet little smile. Because before I know it, Alex is going to be a grumpy 14-year-old who thinks I'm the most horrid, embarrassing, callous parent a child has ever known.

Finally ... An Update

I know, I know, I know, I have been TERRIBLE about keeping up with this blog. I don't even know if anyone checks it anymore; I know I wouldn't. But I suppose I'll go ahead and give an update; if for no reason other than to show off to random strangers who may stumble across this blog how cute my son is! I've put here some of my favorite pictures of Alex. He is growing so fast and quickly becoming a little person. He doesn't really have a personality yet (does an affinity for diaper changes count?), but he is starting to display little tendencies and quirks. Like first thing in the morning when he looks at me and gives me a look like, "Who is this lady? Should I know her? I'm not so sure I trust her ..." The look is usually accompanied by the Frew wrinkly forehead. Alex loves his Daddy and in most cases Andy is much better at soothing Alex than I am; I suppose that comes with the territory of being a stay-at-home parent. Alex still hates baths, but his screams have dropped a decible or two. He has finally decided that being on his back is not so bad and even enjoys spending short amounts of time in his bouncy chair and swing. He's not quite sleeping through the night, though last weekend he went eight hours one night (he decided later it was a fluke and has since returned to his normal routine). He is up to almost six ounces each feeding. He poops once a day. And now, because I love lists:

Things I Love About Alex:

1. His sneezes

2. His chubby cheeks

3. When I come home from work and he smiles because he hears my voice

4. His half-sneezes (I know, I hate it when that happens to me, but it's so cute when he does it!)

5. His chubby thighs

6. When he gets really happy he throws up his hands (but sometimes he hits himself in the face)

7. His monologues (I'm starting to wonder if he's going to be a talker like his cousin Cole; sorry Gramma!)

8. His stubborness when he wants to "stand" (it's weird, sometimes the only way to get him to stop crying is to support him while he stands in your lap)

9. The way he looks in Andy's arms

10. Every little yawn, poot, expression, noise, smell, touch, and look that comes from him; every moment is precious

Things I've Learned

My apologies for the long hiatus – I’ve been a little distracted lately. Here’s a rundown of things I have learned in the last (almost) three weeks.

Wiggle worm

Babies (or at least mine) are like Houdini. Alex can wiggle his way out of any swaddle; no matter how tight or what kind of blanket (even the Miracle Blanket). He even looks like a magician, working with a quiet concentration. Then, once he’s got a foot or a hand out, he starts screaming like a banshee. We’re thinking of upgrading to a straight jacket complete with buckles.

Dad was right

Though it’s a cliché, it’s totally true: You truly do not know how much you can love something until you become a parent. It’s incredible the amount of love you feel for this tiny being when it is only seconds old. I guess this surge of unconditional love is necessary early on to help you cope with what comes later. I’m sure when Alex reaches his terrible twos, his ferocious fours, or his treacherous thirteens (alliteration doesn’t really fly with that number), I’ll feel differently. But for now he’s perfect and could do no wrong.

Birth plans

You know the saying “Expect the unexpected”? Well, when it comes to giving birth, I say: Expect nothing! Because if you make a stringent birth plan, chances are nothing with go according to that plan and your will be sorely disappointed – or worse – left feeling like a failure. The pregnancy books are right (at least the good ones) when they say that if you give birth to a healthy baby, consider it a complete success. Several weeks ago I was toying with the idea of trying to give birth without an epidural. But looking back, I know had I been 100% committed to that idea, the experience would have been much more difficult. The time between my water breaking and Alex’s arrival was 31 hours. The only way I had enough energy to push that little boy out of me was because I had had a good, solid nap in which I got the best sleep I have had in years. The only way I got such good, restful sleep was because I had been given an epidural that not only relieved the pain from the contractions, but eliminated the back pain that had been plaguing me (and robbing me of much-needed sleep) for the past six months. The point of this ramble is this: it is ok to have an idea of what you would like to experience and educate yourself on various options, but know that a healthy delivery (for both baby and mom) is the ultimate measure of success. Ok, I’m off my soapbox.

Breastfeeding

Ok, I’m back on my soapbox. I always heard that breastfeeding can be difficult. I thought it was just because it was painful (sore nipples, engorgement, cracked areolas, ouch!). Now I know there are a lot more factors that come into play; the nursing books just don’t address them. They just simply talk about how important breastfeeding is and that if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. They just seem to say: “As soon as baby is born, put her to breast and you’ll feed happily ever after.” They don’t talk about the possibility that your baby may be on an IV for the first two days, or that you may develop some condition that requires medication that interferes with breastfeeding, or that your baby may be so lethargic she will not stay awake long enough to consume an adequate amount of calories, or that ... you get my point. Those books need to say “hey, it doesn’t come easy and it’s ok if you have to bottle or formula feed – as long as you’re trying your best and your baby is gaining weight and healthy, you’re being the best mom in the world!” I’m thinking about making a career change to inspirational author/realist. If you know a good agent, call me.

Nurses

Nurses are amazing people; at least the ones who went out of their way to make my time at EAMC as comfortable and reassuring as possible. There was the delivery nurse, who screamed “push baby, push!” like it was nobody’s business; and it worked like a charm. There was the nurse in the pain clinic who got mad when she found out they made me walk downstairs instead of wheeling me down because I had been discharged already. She also called me on my cell phone twice to make sure my spinal headaches were gone and Alex was doing well. Then there was the lactation specialist who stayed at work an hour late two days in a row to work with me on breastfeeding. She also loaded me up with oodles of nipples, devices to help with feeding, and her cell number. And many others who took good care of my baby and made my week in the hospital a pleasant experience.

Mom’s intuition

Intuition is as important as medical expertise. I knew my water had broken, even though the litmus test, the ultrasound, and the pelvic exam showed otherwise. I knew my baby was ready to come out, even though the readings on the monitors suggested I had hours to go. I learned that even if I wasn’t going to speak up, it’s helpful to have people around you who will. Sticking to your guns is a lot easier when you have a strong support system in place.

Pain

Epidurals are wonderful.

More pain

Blood patches suck (especially when you need two). But spinal headaches suck worse.

Privacy

Notions of privacy are completely skewed during and after the labor and delivery process. You know when the 80-year-old male volunteer who delivers the newspaper and the 19-year-old girl who picks up the meal tray have both seen you pumping, the line between what’s appropriate and what’s not has become blurred.

Poopy diapers, spit up, and crying – oh my!

It really is different when it’s your kid. Andy has always been grossed out by stuff like poop and vomit. He can hardly clean up after our pets (actually, he usually gets me, his friends, or the mailman to do it; kidding!). But with Alex, he handles butt explosions like a pro. When I worked at the day care, I was always most grossed out by spit up. I don’t know why; maybe it’s the weird sour smell or that it inevitably ends up on your shirt. But with Alex, I don’t get grossed out, I just get worried; is he ok? Is he sick? Does he have acid reflux? Same goes with crying. Other people’s kids are annoying when they cry, but with your own, you just want to do whatever it takes to get him comfy and happy.

Bodily changes

Early in my pregnancy someone I barely knew (who apparently shares the Dawson/Frew affinity for frankness) told me that my body would never be the same after having a baby. It looks like she wasn’t kidding. My wedding rings no longer fit, my belly button is twice as wide, my boobs are three times bigger, I now have a linea negra (isn’t that supposed to appear before you have a baby, not after?), and my tummy … well, let’s wait a few months before we make that call. Regardless, I still think the human body is a pretty amazing creation. I either breastfeed or pump every 2-3 hours, but the last couple nights I’ve skipped one feeding each night to catch extra winks (don’t worry, Andy is feeding Alex during those times). And each morning after I have done this, my boobs have been swollen and sore. It’s amazing that my body is so in tune with what’s going on that skipping just one feeding is enough to get my supply out of whack.

Mommy!

I love being a mommy. I never considered myself motherly and at one point even wondered if I ever wanted kids (hey, all high schoolers are dumb). But now Andy and I can’t imagine our life without Alex in it. There is something so satisfying about being able to calm Alex down if he is fussing just by holding him close to me. I could stare at his sweet face all day long. I am already hating the first girl he kisses, the first bully who picks on him, and the first boss who fires him. He is my baby; I have a SON!

Final note

Thanks to all our wonderful family and friends for their many thoughts, prayers, words of encouragement, and gifts! If we have not called or written to thank you personally, please know it’s probably because we’re too exhausted to remember who we have and haven’t spoken to in the last week (or hour). We’re not very busy right now (we mostly just sack out in front of the TV between feedings and diaper changes), but we are a little tired. Please don’t hesitate to give us a call. Hope everyone has a happy holiday!