I'm SO ready; I'm so NOT ready

I've gotten to the point in my pregnancy where co-workers, relatives, strangers, etc., are starting to make the comment: "I bet you're ready, huh?" I don't know if it's the sleepiness in my eyes or the stoop in my posture, but I guess they think I just look like I've had enough. For the most part, they are right. I cannot remember the last night of decent sleep I have had in a long time. I know, I know, that's not going to get much better once the baby comes. But at least I'll have something to do while I'm awake in the middle of the night besides pee and try (fruitlessly) to find a comfy position. Andy is under the weather right now and last night his snoring was pretty loud. I went to the living room to seek peace and quiet. Then the cat started scratching at something. And it was raining outside ('bout time). Normally I sleep well when it rains, but I kept hearing some sort of dripping noise. So after half an hour of trying to decide whether to locate the source of the noise, I went into the guestroom to sleep. I had forgotten that all of the baby supplies we cannot/have not found room for in the nursery were piled on the bed. So were the large vases we had moved out of the living room to make room for the Christmas tree. So were the Halloween decorations we had pulled out, but never put up. So at 4 a.m. this morning I was hauling ceramics, a baby carrier, ghosts, a giant spider, a play yard, a bouncer, among other things. I still got crappy sleep. Enough complaining about sleeplessness. Here are a few reasons I'm ready - and not ready - to have this baby.

Reasons I'm Ready

1. I've already gained the recommended 30 pounds.

2. Although I love my job, it sure would be nice to stop working.

3. I'm seriously starting to stress and if the baby came now, it would be ok that everything is in a state of chaos - that's parenthood - otherwise it's called being unprepared.

4. I haven't developed cankles and I would really love it if I never did.

5. Even some of my maternity shirts no longer stretch far enough out front to cover my belly.

6. Moments of hysterical crying are becoming more regular and I feel like I'm totally losing control at times. Sullivan ate my cookie last night and you would have thought I was experiencing the apocalypse.

Reasons I'm NOT Ready

1. I have a presentation to give at a conference next week and another conference paper to write for one in February (don't worry, I'm not going, it's in Dallas). Pray I don't go into labor during my presentation next week. Tuskegee may only be 20 miles away, but I'm sure that's a long way to drive when you're having contractions.

2. To be completely honest, I really do like having a nice, round belly. It is liberating in some ways.

3. I still have oodles of reading to do to prepare me for D-Day and the rest of motherhood.

4. I still haven't packed my overnight bag. I bought a pink Under Armor gym bag and I'm totally psyched about using all the pockets. Did I just sound like a 13-year-old or what?

5. The nursery is still not quite done. The walls are a little bare and I cannot find a hamper I like. Who knew it would be so hard to find something that will hold clothes soiled with all manner of bodily fluids (and probably not-so-fluids)?

6. The house is a bit of a disaster. Not the whole house, mainly just the bedroom closet and the office. And the previously-mentioned guestroom. Definitely not ready for gracious grandparents-to-be who have offered their services.