Apologies again for a long delay. Here's a totally self-centered update on my life ...
Body
My body is pretty much back in the same shape as it was before I got pregnant. Except my tummy is a little poochier. And my boobs a little bigger and saggier. And my butt and thighs riddled with cellulite. Oh my gosh, my body is nothing like it was before I got pregnant! Oh, well. It's totally worth it.
Sleep
It seems no matter how Alex sleeps - whether it's 10 hours straight through the night or if he wakes up to feed twice in the night - I never get enough sleep. I don't know what it is, but I'm always tired. Right now is probably the worst because not only is it dark when it's time for me to get up in the mornings (stupid daylight savings time change), but Alex is starting to wake up hungry at 5 a.m. I would rather him either sleep through the night or wake up at 3 a.m. At least then, I would have another three hours of sleep after feeding him instead of 45 minutes.
Anxiety
My emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster lately. I don't know if it is hormones, Andy's employment situation, or just Chuck's blood running through my veins, but I regularly have mini-panic attacks. Or is it just motherhood? I feel like I'm a hamster in a big wheel - I'm just running and running and tumbling all around me are dirty clothes, stinky kitty litter, unwritten Thank You notes, a matted Old English Sheepdog, and a never-ending grocery list. I need a haircut, a teeth cleaning, and (at the moment) a shower. You may be thinking, "Well, why are you taking time to write a blog?" Well, it's because I'm a less-than-ideal employee and I'm doing it at work. Will someone please tell me if what I'm experiencing is normal? And will it go away anytime within the next 18 years?
Momnesia
I forget a lot of things these days. My friend, whose daughter is a month younger than Alex, calls it momnesia. So if I don't call or email you back, it's momnesia. If I forget to take the grocery list to the store, it's momnesia. Or if I leave my debit card in the gas station pump on South College Street, it's momnesia. And I curse the bastard who took the card and used it at a gas station in Hatchechubbee, Alabama (what kind of a redneck name is that anyway?).
Questions, questions, and more questions
When we went to register while I was pregnant, I had a little panic attack in Babies 'R Us. I know part of it was not just the overwhelming amount of crap that's out there, but also that I just didn't know a thing about raising a baby. I now know that after almost four months of child rearin', it ain't gonna get easy anytime soon. As our four-month mark approaches, we're asking ourselves several things: When do we start cereal? Are those big, sticky poops four days apart a sign of constipation? When do we move him into his own room at night (yes, he's still in his Pack 'N Play in our room; at least he's not in our bed)? Are his 5 a.m. wakeups really because he's hungry (he usually only eats for a few minutes) or just having little fussy moments? Should we just let him "cry it out" when he gets fussy? If so, how long? What if Alex has ADD and he forgets or loses his lunch at school? Will the teacher lend him money for lunch? How many times will she/he do so before saying "forget it!"? Aaaggghhh!
Happy Baby
I've joined the ranks of women everywhere (you know who you are) and I'm now officially a total sap. I get all teary-eyed over those emails that talk about how wonderful being a mom is. It takes enormous willpower not to forward them to everyone in my "contacts" list (not so sure the director of the Alabama Soybeans Producers would get as much out of it as I do). But they are so true! I read something about how much joy a simple little smile can bring. It's incredible. Alex has started getting extremely happy in the mornings when he wakes up and Andy and I are both bending over him and saying "Good morning!!!" It makes the whole sleeplessness thing a bit more bearable. Plus he is so gosh darn cute when he stretches and twists his whole body around after being swaddled all night. The point of all my rambling is that no matter how little sleep I get or how far behind in chores I fall, it is important that I remember to take time to savor each sweet little smile. Because before I know it, Alex is going to be a grumpy 14-year-old who thinks I'm the most horrid, embarrassing, callous parent a child has ever known.
4 comments:
Man, what a CUTIE!! He looks like Janice in the first picture and like Andy in the second!! I can't wait to meet him and pinch his little chubber cheeks!
Oh honey...let the laundry and the house go. As long as you have paper plates and clean underwear, you're doing great! Come to my house sometime, you'll feel so much better about yourself. And I don't work!
And the questions NEVER end. Now I'm at the...why is he being such a brat? how do I do this potty training thing? why is he so mean to girls?...you catch my drift?
step #1: throw away the unfinished thank-you cards and never think of them again! Life is too short for that kind of self-torture.
Alex is a heartbreaker! He looks different in every photo. Maybe he'll be an actor some day?
Oh, and I'm pretty sure momnesia is a symptom of sleep deprivation. You should definitely not beat yourself up over that one.
holy crow, i was a total basket case for at least the first six months, and probably closer to the first nine. i am usually pretty chill, but i'm convinced having a newborn baby can give the most free flowing hippies panic attacks. it's an overwhelming experience... and i remember having all of those questions about crying it out and if he's hungry when he cries at 3 a.m.... the good news is it will all even out in the months to come! the second year is so much easier than the first! can't wait to meet that little man. he is so cute!
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