Parenthood

It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes the smallest tasks are so much more challenging with a child. I thought going into this whole parenting thing that the biggest challenges I would face would be the ones you see on TV - a baby that won't stop crying, explosive poopies, and never getting enough sleep. And, yes, it's true, I feel like I just can't catch up on sleep, Alex has basically proven me wrong. If he cries, all we have to do is pat his behind, pick him up or give him a pacifier. And while he has had his share of nasty number twos, none has been horrifying or unmanageable. The challenges we've encountered have been more dealing with run-of-the-mill chores. Yesterday, for example, I realized we desperately needed to order new checks. Alex had just woken up from a short nap, so he wanted some attention. I held him while I logged on the computer to order the checks. I managed to keep him from banging on the keyboard, but only because he thought the inner flesh of my arm would be a good place to chomp down with those six teeth. Ouch! I still have a bruise. Then the stupid website would not accept my routing and account numbers as valid. So I called. I got an automated voice message system. Now, is there anything more annoying than that? Anyway, I was in the process of ordering checks and the robotic voice was informing me of the option to purchase a variety of designs. Alex started to babble and the voice stops short and says, "Do you wish to end this call?" No! So I completed the rest of the call by craning my neck and turning my head as far away from Alex as possible so the voice wouldn't mistake Alex's babble for my request. I don't want to end up with 20 boxes of kitten checks for Andy and Janice BLA MOB BA Dyer. Whew, I finally finished the call, checks ordered. I looked down and at some point, Alex had thrown up (not spit up; this was remnants from his lunch of carrots) all over my shirt and rubbed the top of his head in it. Ahh, the sweet (sour) smell of parenthood.